Doofus decided to leave.
I am an online Domme. I youre a frequent reader of my blog life, then you'll know I'm no stranger to a sub walking away. It's almost like the unspoken rule of online domination, they always leave.
It hurt, and I mourned the loss of a connection I put my all into.
Then I pulled on my panties like a big girl, and began to focus on the white slave's that still remain loyal.
Fuzzy's life situation has changed, which limits his privacy nowadays. I've given him the out, because the constant communication we had in the beginning has now dwindled to a thing of the past.
He refused. He chose me. Said he loved being my property - and that he'd rather work for what we have. That is what I seek. A deep rooted connection and a need for me in his life. Thank you for being mine fuzzy. You fill apart of me, and I hope I do the same for you. Even though we spend less time together, I know what we share is real. That feeling helpless and weak comes naturally to you in my presence.
There's my new boy. Well, he is no longer new. He is.. a missing puzzle piece in my life. From the second day we met, we've been able to sit and chat for hours. I think thats what most online Dommes miss and most subs dont quite understand - communication. Without being able to talk to one another, what do you have left? Sex? Money? His nickname is my little boy.
Little boy and I chat every day. With him, I explore the Mommy Domme elements and he serves as my little boy. It is similar to the Daddy Dom and babygirl elements if you are familiar with that. He is twice my age. He is an older white, business man - and he loves to beg a young, black woman...for any privilege I allow. Our dynamic is new, growing, and shaping into something beautiful. He revels in every privilege of pleasure I allow.. Even touching himself at work for my pleasure. Becoming a naughty, dirty, little bitch while his coworkers are ignorant of his true self.
He even enjoys being DENIED - so that I can have what I want. <3
I will post more.. on Fuzzy and little boy. I will start to do journals with my boys, and will post what they write here for all to see.
Now onto me! I've lost 11 lbs, and midterms are over! Woohoo!! I'm sexy. Smart. Yadda.. Yadda. Nothing has really changed with me - I suppose my understanding of my submissives needs and desires.
I'm starting to ramble on and on. Basically - I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been. It's not about money or gifts. Its not about sex and orgasms. It's about commitment, honesty, loyalty and most of all? Trust. My current boys offer all of that to me and more. I want to break them, own them, reduce grown men into whimpering little boys dependent on me.
My fiance is amazing - but he isnt my bitch. I crave dominance over a man. Fuzzy and little boy, you give me what I need.
I am addicted to power and control.
-Goddess Lotus
