Tuesday, December 3, 2013

August 2013 - Entering Findoms and finding Ctbb

I joined a neat little financial dominant site, findoms.com and began further exploration into my fetish/lifestyle. I had dabbled in it previously on a platform, Secondlife, though never on scale as findoms. I began posting images and blogs, and making a name for myself - meeting folks. And came across a boy, that seemed to match perfectly with my interests.

His name was ctbb.
Here was his first letter of adoration to me..

"""Hi Miss, my Goddess, my Queen, my everything.

I wanted to start by saying what a crazy few days it has been since you accepted me as your sub. I have loved every minute of it so far and I cant wait to see our relationship pan out over the long run. I love how nerdy and crazy you are, in a good way of course. You have really taken a shine to me, as I have to you which I have never experienced with another Domme before and I cant stress how much this means to me. I also love how qwerky you are, you are super cute, super sexy and your teasing sends me to another world. 

I also wanted to state how much your voxers mean, I love hearing your sexy ass accent as its super cute and tantalizing miss. I feel as though this connection is really above anything I have ever had, especially hearing your orgasmic voice via voxer, that night was a real initiation to be proud of as a D/S. I also cant wait to spend time with you on saturday, shopping and what not will be fantastic and im so excited. I also love the news you broke earlier, that you are off on monday, thats so awesome :D :D. 

I know this isnt much but its a start.

Yours truly,
Ctbb."""""

Everything seemed to be going well, and quite frankly amazing. Though, within the second week of our relationship blossoming? He began to struggle - either with me, or the level of attraction we both felt. Needless to say, it didnt last very long and it was over before it began.

Although it crashed and burned, ctbb certainly helped me discover what I want from a D/s relationship.

You know - Folks say write what you know. Right now? My knowing is mainly this ongoing search and rescue the site for my 'boy'. Yes, yes, Lotus is strange and weird, and only wishes for one or two little weaklings to serve her. Let's move on. 


I’ve posted what sort of relationship I’m looking for – but not what sort of partner, or at least the traits and such I’d enjoy from him. I’m looking for a man confident in his submission, one that understands that when with me? He will give up any control he thought he had, and give it up willingly. 
Now, duhhhhh – you say. 
But that isn’t as common as you’d think, to find that connection of such a powerful exchange between two person. It’s rare, fleeting, and definitely a thing to hold on to. 
Looking for a boy that has personality, not a robot slave to simply ‘yes, Miss’ me to death. I want a boy with his own thinking power, or where’s the fun in destroying his thoughts? I need a partner – a match. Now, don’t get me wrong, certainly not an equal. Though a challenge – chump change is simply that, chump change. 

((My cat is watching the words scroll across the screen as I type this. LOL)) 
 

I need someone with the same interests as mine. I am not in Domme mode 24/7. I don’t expect him to be pathetic and mewling in every moment we spend together. I want to chat, and simply enjoy the boy I choose to serve me. I have many interests that vary – and I’d hope for my boy to have the same. I love computers, building and working on them. I love cooking – learning new recipes. 
VIDEOGAMES. A large portion of my time when not on findoms? Is in a game. 
Reading , Movies, Roleplaying, Devising evil plans for corrupting and degrading white men… 

Etc, you get the point. Someone that we can simply talk about the latest updates in the genres and tasks that we share and enjoy. 
I could go on and on, but this is just a basic run down. Surely if a boy read this and thought…that’s me – I’d receive a message. 
And then that they say? Is history. 


Looking for a man that understands what he has to offer, whether it be cash, or excitement, or even giving me the passion to move forward in the worderfully delicious lifestyle. Seems, a little far fetched to me, like what I’m looking for isn’t real. The boy not be able to encompass all of these feats, but there will be some. Surely – my standards wont be pushed aside, or left dwindling to the wind. 
That’s right – standards. I know what I want. 





So his chapter came to a close, with much sadness - but now something to look forward to. A connection - which I've found, but on more that later....


-Goddess Lotus











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